“edited” by AL SOUTH
M Yes, I can’t hold back any more. The rants directed at the STRIKING SAQ WORKERS: I think that the people who made these rants should redirect their anger and frustration at the rotating strikes not so much at the workers themselves —who have a constitutional right to collective bargaining—but more to the government, who owns the SAQ, who owns basically everything that supposedly isn’t good for you, from drinking to smoking cigarettes to gambling. The government makes a ton of money from the taxes they get off booze, off cigarettes, off gambling, and I think the workers deserve a proper contract. The government should sit down and negotiate a proper labour contract with those workers. So I know it’s not so fun to have your DINNER PARTY ruined because you had to drink piss-poor DEPANNEUR WINE, but you should think of the employees of the SAQ who have families and mouths to feed and bills to pay. Get off your high horse and stop saying your poor life is affected when these people have to make a living. Anyway, that’s what I have to say. SOLIDARITY to the SAQ workers. Bye now. [BLEEP!]
F Is it my imagination or is the bridge over Van Horne being held up by pieces of WOOD? Are we sure that is ok? It looks like the kind of work that gets done by a guy who you hire on Kijiji who shows up to do the job drunk. [BLEEP!]
M Good morning mother rainbows, this is Class War, yeah. New rapper. AKA Revolution Dances. I got a message for Donald Trump, this is my rap, check me out of Facebook groups, Class War Rap. (starts to rap) “Make America great when?/Donald Trump and Kanye West, got a simple question/Make America great when? (repeats after every bar) /When there was slavery?/When native brothers had to live with genocide?/When our black brothers had no civil rights?/When women couldn’t vote?/When there was no human rights?/When monopolies had all the rights?/Got a simple question /Make America great when?” Yeah. Class War. AKA Rainbow Fist. LGBTQ world citizen. Revolution Dances. Facebook groups. Yeah. Class War Rap independent artist. Peace, love, harmony. [BLEEP!]
F Just passed an Esso and saw gas at $1.10 this morning, thank you Mr. T, I mean President T! [BLEEP!]
M People are talking these days about how ILLEGAL CANNIBAS is a problem. Are you fucking kidding me man? It’s been fucking decades that we’ve been criminalizing and locking people up for this shit and now that we’ve legalized it we’re looking for and excuse to lock people up again?! Alcohol is far more dangerous and kills a lot more people than cannabis. So when a guy has a joint and just drives around, I feel a lot more safe with that guy than with some fucking drunkard who has A 40 ON HIS LAP. I’m just saying. Lately I’ve been smoking CIGS again, and to be honest I don’t really like the feeling all that much. You enjoy it for a little bit, but afterwards it dissipates and you fucking regret it and you want to have another. When you smoke weed you just GIGGLE like an idiot and just want to go to sleep. That’s pretty much it man. I support weed. [BLEEP!]
M You know what, screw Airbnb. Ok maybe at one time it was a cool thing—the sharing economy, or whatever you want to call it—but now it is just a CASH GRAB, greedy people and especially greedy landlords renting their places out to people who come into the neighbourhood and show no respect. They don’t know the rules, they are from who-the-fuck knows where, they are definitely not part of the small neighbourhood community where they want to stay—you know, to get the authentic Mile End experience, or whatever. Half of the time they party all night, and even if they don’t, doors are banging and there is yelling and in the end they vanish but they leave their GARBAGE out on the street. And the next day or two days it’s somebody else to repeat the exact same procedure. I am sick of it. They should be sequestered back in the hotel districts where they used to be where they can do the least harm to the life of the city but where the merchants and the like can still suck up their cash. Are you listening Valerie Plante? [BLEEP!]
M [same guy] Hello I called a few days ago about how Airbnb sucks and I just saw a story that confirms how fucking out of hand this is getting. Some guy in Villeray came home and found a bunch of strangers HAVING A PARTY IN HIS APARTMENT—a party with booze, dope, noise, the works. Apparently they were supposed to be in the apartment downstairs which the landlord had rented them for the night. So this guy kicks them out but his place was trashed and then later he found out they stole his shit! Ok, so this was booking.com not Airbnb but same difference. Same type of cash grab. I hope this guy can get his stuff back and get repaid for the money he had to spend to clean up —$3500 apparently, holy fuck!—but who knows if his landlord or booking.com or anyone knows their real identities. This is just not right, you know. [BLEEP!]
M Hi, there’s a particular store down the road from me that’s selling BEEF BONES for $5 for three little bones. Now if that is not parasitical!? Beef bones were once distributed almost for nothing, because the poor were considered to be human beings! Now you have people stopping their fucking Mercedes Benz outside and running in to buy $5 fucking bones. Fuck. Well good luck to them. But I will go without beef bones. [BLEEP!]
M It never ceases to amaze me, the inanities of the vanities of LOTTERIES. Standing in line waiting to purchase my product, waiting endlessly for some [clears throat] OLD WORLD SQUIRREL to fulfill his or her destiny regarding all the expenditures that have been bestowed on them by a crooked system of misfortune is just astonishing to me. I feel sorry for them, those who cannot make their own luck. They have to make your own luck. You can ONLY make your own luck. And then luck will follow. [BLEEP!]
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